


Pain

by KittyKatz009



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: F/M, trigger warning: self harm, trigger warning: suicide attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-11 12:09:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyKatz009/pseuds/KittyKatz009
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maka has been hiding something from her friends for a while. It’s a matter of time before she snaps. BEFORE YOU EVEN READ: This story contains instances of self-harm. If that is triggering to you, please do not read! Rated M for self-harm, language, and possible later lemons (Haven’t decided yet).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pain

Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater! Also, this story contains instances of self-harm (as mentioned in the summary). You have been warned. 

Maka was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. ‘Why does life have to suck so bad?’ she wondered. Sighing heavily, she pulled the comforter above her head, wanting the day to just go away. She heard her door be pushed open, indicating that either Soul was here to talk or Blair finally came home.   
“Hey Maka, Black*Star challenged us to a game of basketball. You up for it?” Soul asked, peeking his head into her room. He learned to never enter her room without her permission the hard way.   
“Not really,” she murmured, burying herself deeper in the covers. She just wanted to be left alone. She hated being around the others because she knew that all they were going to do was pick on her.   
“You okay?” he asked, risking a book to the head to sit down on her bed. He hated when his meister wasn’t feeling well because he didn’t know what to do to help her. “If you’re sick I can stay here and take care of you. It’s not a big deal.” She threw her comforter off of her head to look at him.   
“I’m fine. Just want to enjoy some peace and quiet. Don’t worry about me. Go have fun!” she chirped with a false smile. She didn’t want anyone, especially Soul, worrying about her. In order to keep him from worrying, she got good at hiding her true emotions from leaking into their shared wavelength. No one else needed to be a part of the mess that was her mind.   
“Are you sure? You don’t look so well,” he questioned skeptically. Things had seemed off between them for a while, and he couldn’t quite put a finger on what it was. He always worried about his meister, he loved her after all (though he never can admit that to her because of her distrust of men thanks to her stupid father). He just wanted to see a genuine smile cross her face again.   
“Yes, I’m sure Soul. Just go,” she sighed, lightly pushing him off her bed. “Have fun!”  
“O-okay. Feel better,” he said, shutting the door as he left to grab his gear and leave. He walked out of their apartment, wondering if leaving her alone was the best idea.   
“Thank god he left,” she sighed, dropping the cheery façade. She hated having to plaster on a fake smile and hide her true feeling from her friends. No one understood what she was going through. She knew she couldn’t keep putting herself through the daily torture for much longer. She moved the blanket off her lap to stare at her legs. They were riddled with scars—some deep and some shallow. They just added to the unattractiveness that Soul teased her about. These ugly legs paired with her flat chest made her desirable to no one. The cuts had been going on for a while; ever since Soul got hurt on their mission in Rome. She felt worthless; she wasn’t able to protect the person she cared about the most. It’s not like he saw her as anything special anyways; he always mocked her personality and made fun of her appearance. The others recently started joining in, causing her to feel even more like the worthless piece of trash that she felt she was. She needed an outlet for these emotions, and the razorblade brought it for her. At first, she couldn’t believe that she had actually resorted to self-harm, but after finding that the pain brought temporary relief, she continued turning to it. After getting carried away with it, she knew that she needed to find a way to hide the marks and scars from everyone. Her solution to this was to wear leggings under her skirt. It provided the best way to hide the scars, and when anyone would ask, she would simply say that she was cold. It seemed to work because no one questioned her again about them. Over time, it became more frequent, she needed to escape life’s troubles more and more. Now, she had finally hit rock bottom. More needed to be done to bring her relief. She crouched down, pulling a box from underneath her bed before going to her desk to grab a piece of paper and pen. She sat down on her bed, placing the box on her lap and opening it, ready for more relief. 

 

“Yahoo! You ready to play?!?” Black*Star bellowed as Soul showed up to the court.  
“Yeah,” Soul mumbled, distracted. He was still stuck on trying to figure out if Maka was okay. He couldn’t sense anything wrong in their wavelength, but he knew there something she was hiding.   
“Where’s Maka?” Tsubaki asked as she sat down next to Soul.  
“She wasn’t feeling too good today. I tried to stay home to take care of her, but she practically threw me out of the house,” he murmured, tying his shoes.   
“I hope she’ll be okay!” she exclaimed and Soul just nodded, lost in his thoughts.  
“Come on! Let’s play! I’m tired of just sitting around!” Black*Star yelled before dividing the group up. It was Soul, Kid, and Tsubaki versus ‘Star, Patty, and Liz. They started playing hard and it was enough to get Soul’s mind cleared from the worry of Maka. 

 

Maka shuffled through the contents of the box, finding her trusty razorblade on top. She pulled it out and looked at it, dried blood from her previous attempts marring the gleam of the metal. She placed it on her nightstand before turning back to the box. Next, she pulled a bottle of vodka out. She smuggled this from her Papa on one of the days she was forced to spend ‘quality time’ with him. He made her sick and made her hate herself more. There was nothing she could do to keep her Mama from leaving, it was all her fault. Stealing it from him was easy, he was always drunk or had his eyes on ladies, so it was a swift swipe into her bookbag. The alcohol found its place next to the razorblade as she pulled out a bottle of Warfarin, prescription blood thinners that she swiped from Stein’s office on one of her visits to see the mad professor. She had no need for the rope that was in the box, nor the gun nestled in there. She placed the pills next to the blade and closed the lid, placing the box on the floor as she grabbed the paper and pen. She scrawled out a note, folding it in half and writing ‘Soul’ on the outside. Now was the time. 

¬¬¬¬¬  
“The score is not symmetrical! We must keep playing!” Kid cried as they sat down for a break, all panting from exhaustion. All were guzzling down as much water as they possibly could to stay hydrated.   
“You’re just mad that you’re losing to a God like me!” Black*Star cackled. The two continued to argue as Tsubaki talked to Soul.  
“Soul-kun, are you alright? You seem out of it. Your head isn’t in the game like it usually is,” she asked with a kind smile, hoping to find out what was eating at her friend.   
“I’m just worried about Maka. She’s been acting strange lately,” he sighed, snapping out of the daze that he had currently been in. “Has she mentioned anything to you?” he asked, turning to look at her.   
“No she hasn’t. She rarely talks to me anymore,” she said with a sad smile. “I’ve noticed that she started acting strange as well, actually.” This comment caught Black*Star’s attention, pulling him from the argument he was having with Kid.   
“You talkin’ about Maka? What’s her deal anyways? And what the hell is the deal with those pants under her skirt?” he questioned rapidly. “She’s gotta be melting with those on!” he exclaimed, voice lowering from its normal ear-shattering octave, indicating that he was in a serious mood. Maka was like a sister to him, and he wanted to know what was wrong with her.   
“Come to think of it, her weird behavior started shortly after she converted to wearing those pants under her skirt,” Kid pondered, forgetting about the lack of symmetry due to the concern of his friend.  
“Are you guys saying that a pair of pants are causing her to act weird?” Soul asked with a chuckle. He needed this lightheartedness from his friends to distract him from what was going on.  
“No, what we’re saying is maybe she is hiding something,” Liz said, chiming into the conversation.   
“What do you mean by that?” Soul said, grin instantly fading. Maka wouldn’t hide anything from him, would she?  
“Cuts!” Patty chirped, dancing around before taking the ball from Black*Star to shoot some hoops.  
“Cuts?” Soul asked in confusion. What in the world was Patty chattering about now?  
“That may explain it,” Tsubaki muttered grimly, the group becoming solemn. Soul was still confused.  
“What may explain what? Tell me Tsubaki!” he yelled, turning to her and grabbing her shoulders to shake her. He was panicking; what was going on!  
“W-we think Maka may be hurting herself,” she whispered, tears gathering in her eyes. He felt his heart seize at the words as he looked at his friends’ expressions, all of them mirroring Tsubaki’s.  
“Hurting herself?” he whispered in disbelief. 

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬  
Maka sat in the middle of her bed, cracking open the bottle of liquor and busting open the pill bottle at the same time. She shook out a handful of pills, popping them in her mouth. She chased them down with a hearty swig of the vodka, cringing from the bitter taste it had as she swallowed. She continued drinking the liquor, occasionally popping more of the blood thinners as she went. The alcohol and pills started making her fuzzy, her judgment clouded as she picked up the razorblade. She brought it across her wrist, digging deep. Blood gathered from the first wound and she cringed a bit from the sting it gave. She couldn’t give up now, she was going all out for this. It was nothing that a little more vodka and pills couldn’t numb. She continued carving into herself, careful not to let the pain go through the wavelength. 

 

“It would make sense,” Kid murmured. “It’s hard to believe that Maka would actually resort to self-harm, but all of the warning signs are there.” Soul just shook his head, he didn’t want to believe that his meister was causing herself intentional harm. It just wasn’t her.   
“Soul, you can’t deny that it’s a possibility. I mean come on, she’s always been a person to hide out in the apartment, but skipping out on group hangouts for over a month? That’s just not right,” Liz said, heart breaking at the thought of her friend cutting herself.   
“Besides, you know her better than any of us do. So you should know that she always runs hotter than most people, which explains the short-ass skirts she always wears. Why would she suddenly change her wardrobe in the hottest months of the year?” Black*Star reasoned. He felt sick, he wanted to deny the fact that his sister was hurting herself, but there was this niggling feeling in his gut that was saying otherwise.   
Soul fell off the bench and to his knees in disbelief. They had to be overthinking Maka’s strange behavior, they had to be. There was no way that she was doing that to herself. None at all. He refused to believe. He closed his eyes, searching into their wavelength, hoping to prove them wrong. When he felt that she was fine, he sighed in relief. There was the proof he needed to know that they were overreacting. 

 

Maka’s head was spinning as she drank more. Blood stained her sheets as she looked down with slightly crossed eyes. She couldn’t believe that her life turned to shit so quickly. She shook the pill bottle lightly, hearing a rattling sound indicating that there were a few left. She poured a couple in her hand, starting to mumble aloud. “Sorry Mama, sorry I wasn’t strong enough to keep you with me. Sorry Papa, sorry I wasn’t brave enough to confront you before life got shitty,” she whispered, tossing the pills back. 

 

“Soul,” Tsubaki said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I think you should go check on Maka.”  
“She’s fine, I can feel it in her wavelength,” he said, tightening the laces on his shoes. 

 

“Sorry Black*Star, sorry that I wasn’t able to see you surpass God. Sorry Tsubaki, sorry I wasn’t able to come to you with this and that I won’t be able to see you become Black*Star’s goddess,” she cried, tears falling down her face as she finished off the vodka, the bottle falling to the floor, shattering. Her shaky hands clutched the blade for dear life, it cutting into her palm. “Sorry Kid, Liz, and Patty, sorry that I will not be able to see you become the next Shinigami and the best death scythes to ever be wielded.” The cuts started getting deeper, she was almost there. “Sorry Shinigami-sama, Stein, Marie, and all the other professors. I just wasn’t strong enough to become the best meister ever.”

 

“Soul, you really should check on her. I have a bad feeling,” Black*Star said seriously.   
“I agree. I mean, it is possible to hide things from your wavelength,” Kid mused, hoping that Soul would go check on her.   
“You can’t ignore this Soul,” Liz said softly, praying that her friend was okay.  
“Guys she’s fine. Let’s just start playing again,” Soul growled, taking the ball from Patty. He didn’t want to dwell on those negative thoughts anymore. The others sighed, joining him for the game, but with less enthusiasm as before. 

 

“S-sorry Soul,” she slurred. “Sorry I couldn’t be the best, coolest partner ever. I hope your next partner makes you into a wonderful death scythe,” she hiccupped, hand flailing and knocking the bottle over. She brought the razor to her throat as she looked at the ceiling. “I love you. I am so sorry,” she whispered, tears streaming, cutting herself from their wavelength as she brought the blade across her neck in a deep stroke. She coughed, collapsing on the mattress as she began to bleed faster. 

 

Soul froze as soon as he shot the basket, a terrible sensation shooting through him. It felt like everything that he had ever been made of had been ripped from him. Frantic, he searched for Maka’s emotions only to find none. “M-Maka!” he screamed, pushing past the others to run towards their apartment. How could he have been so stupid?!? Why didn’t he listen to the others and go home earlier? Adrenaline pushed him further, he needed to make sure she was okay. How did he not notice the signs himself, what with having a past of self-harm himself? Was it his tendency to ignore what terrible things could happen? Was it that he couldn’t believe that his innocent meister would ever do that? He didn’t know. All he knew is that he had to get to the house soon incase anything had happened. He heard footsteps behind him, but he ignored them, his focus on the apartment. “Maka!” he yelled, busting through the door. Dread filled him when he didn’t hear her respond to him. He could smell the faint tang of blood in the air and his stomach dropped. No, he refused to believe. “Maka? Are you in here?” he asked from the other side of her bedroom door. His heart started beating erratically when there was no response. “I-I’m coming in,” he yelled, pushing on the door. It swung open easily, and he wished he could erase the image before him from his mind for forever. Maka, his Maka, lying in a pool of her own blood, cuts riddling her arms and legs. He ran to her side, fighting off the urge to collapse at seeing her in such a state. He took his shirt off, ripping it into bandages to try to stop the most serious wounds as he held her close. “Why Maka????” he cried into her hair, screaming in frustration.   
“Soul, is she al-” Kid started as he ran into the open room, his sentence cutting off at the horrific scene before him. The others followed close behind, tears forming in their eyes as they saw her state.   
“M-Maka!” Tsubaki cried, falling to her knees. She knew she should have confronted her long ago about her odd behavior. She felt terrible as she sobbed. Liz and Patty carried her to the living room as Black*Star stood in shock. There was no was his little sister could have done something like this. He walked silently to Soul’s side, trying to help him stop the bleeding.   
“Stein, this is Kid. We need you at Soul and Maka’s now,” Kid spoke into the phone in a hurry. He didn’t know how much longer Maka had, but he would be damned if they didn’t try to save her.   
“What’s going on?” Stein said, already gathering his equipment. He normally didn’t do house calls, but he could sense the urgency in the Shinigami’s voice.  
“Suicide attempt,” he said flatly, looking around the room for the tools she used, knowing that Stein would need them.   
“I will be right there,” he said, hanging up abruptly to hurry over. Soul was still sobbing into Maka’s hair as Black*Star continued to bandage her up. He didn’t understand this. He would die without her by his side. She brought out the best in him. Hell, she was the best thing to happen to him in his life. He wasn’t going to let her go, not until he knew she was okay, he vowed.   
“Soul, this has your name on it,” Kid whispered, handing him the paper he found while he collected the blade and bottles. Soul took it, instantly recognizing the writing to be Maka’s. He opened it up and felt his heart break even more from what he read. 

Soul,  
I’m sorry. I just couldn’t do it anymore. The relentless teasing. The guilt of not being able to protect you. The failure of not being able to live up to my mother’s achievements. The pressure just kept building up and I finally snapped. I wish I would have had the courage to tell you how much I actually adored you, no, loved you. But I was too much of a coward to voice my feeling out loud. That was one thing I learned from you, how to suppress my emotions as everything ate me up inside.   
By the time you get this, I will be gone. The pills and alcohol should have worked while you were all out, and I should have bled dry. I’m so sorry that it had to be like this. I did love you and care for you, I really did. I just can’t do it anymore. Tell my Papa and the others that I love them and that I am sorry.   
I hope you find a new partner who is worthy of you. I am sorry to disappoint you like this, but believe me, it’s better off this way.   
Sorry,  
Maka

More tears rushed down his face as he crumpled the letter in his fist. How did he not know she was hurting so bad? How could he have been such an inconsiderate asshole? His teasing, a way to cover up his true feelings for her, backfired completely. He hated himself now. He knew that if she didn’t make it through this that he would forever blame himself. He knew he had to help her heal, no matter what. Stein showed up in a matter of minutes with Sid and Nygus to get Maka to the dispensary for treatment. They had to pry Soul away from her, telling him that if he didn’t let go, she wouldn’t make it. His face fell into her mattress as he cried while they transported her to Shibusen. The others had somber expressions, not being able to believe that the toughest person they knew broke so quickly.   
“Come on Soul. We need to go with them,” Black*Star murmured in a hallow voice. He helped his friend to his feet, knowing that Soul would break more if he wasn’t there with Maka every step of the way. They all walked numbly to the hospital, praying silently that Maka would make it through this. 

A/N: So, I felt my heart break multiple times from this. Since school has started again, it may take a bit before I can update. Read and review my lovelies!


	2. Never Too Late

Chapter 2: Never Too Late

Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater! Also, this story contains instances of self-harm (as mentioned in the summary). You have been warned. 

Soul was numb the entire walk to the hospital, thoughts swirling around. He couldn’t get the image of Maka covered in her blood to leave his mind. He knew he should have stayed home with her. If he had, this wouldn’t have happened. He was her weapon for Christ’s sake! He was supposed to protect her from everything, including herself. He felt his stomach drop from the thought of how long she had been suffering in silence. Why did she not come to him? Oh yeah, because he was the dumbass that caused this. Well, he wasn’t the only cause, but he sure felt like it. Tears were pricking at his eyes, burning them. If only he could have stopped this. Why did he have to tease her for all those years? Why did he have to be such an idiot?   
“Soul, calm down,” Black*Star whispered, placing his hand on the albino’s shoulder. “Your wavelength is going everywhere.” This snapped Soul out of his self-loathing. There was more to worry about than how stupid he was. He could dwell on that later. Right now, the focus was Maka and making sure she survived through the rest of the day and the night.   
“Sorry,” he murmured, keeping his eyes trained on the ground. He knew Black*Star probably blamed him for what happened as much as he blamed himself. Maka was his little sister, and the fact that Soul had been part of the cause was sure to make him enemy number one in the assassin’s eyes. Black*Star stopped and turned to face the sulking scythe.   
“I know you blame yourself for this, but you don’t need to. It’s not your fault, well, not entirely. We are all to blame for this. And if anyone is to take the brunt of this, it’s her father. He’s the one who caused this,” he spoke quietly, trying to get through Soul’s muddled thoughts.   
“But if I wasn’t so stupid, I could have prevented this!” he yelled, tears springing in his eyes.  
“Soul. Listen to me. Mental illness is something that you can’t prevent. It happens. Shit like this happens. You know better than anyone else what I mean. But all we have to focus on now is that we got to her before she got worse and we are trying to get her the help she needs.” His eyes bored into Soul’s, hands clasping down on both shoulders.   
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he sighed out, eyes flickering down to his wrists before looking back at him in the eye. Black*Star was his best friend, the only one he had ever told about his times before the academy and the pain that came with it. “Let’s get there soon before I go crazy,” he grinned somberly as they continued walking towards the hospital.   
The rest of the walk was silent. Before long, they were at the hospital, meeting up with Kid.   
“I brought the evidence in case Stein needs it. The girls took Tsubaki to your place and are taking care of her,” he spoke to Black*Star and he nodded back in answer.   
Soul’s heart rate picked up as he saw Stein walk out of the emergency room towards them.  
“She’s stable as of right now. I stitched up the particularly deep cuts and bandaged the others,” he spoke, messing with the screw in his head as he pushed up his glasses. “However, she will have to stay overnight for monitoring.” Soul exhaled a breath of relief; his Maka was going to be okay.   
“Is it okay to go see her?” Soul asked, fear creeping into his voice. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He needed to see Maka. He needed to see that she would be fine.  
Stein cocked his head to the side, contemplating his words. “Well I don’t see any harm in it but she is asleep,” he spoke but the rest of his words fell on deaf ears as Soul sprinted to her room, intent to be by her side until she was well. He paused outside the door. What if when she woke up she didn’t want to see him? Would she blame him for living? He pushed these thoughts aside and entered the room, breath catching in his throat as he saw her connected to various machines to monitor her heart rate and administer medication, as well as he could see the bandages that covered her arms.   
“Maka…” he whispered, sitting down beside her and grabbing her hand, squeezing it lovingly. The sight of her like this chilled him to the bone; it reminded him of his past too well. He shook that thought off. No time to dwell on it now.   
“Maka I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t see that you were hurting sooner. If I did, I would have helped you instead of make it worse. I feel terrible now, but I’m glad that I didn’t lose you. You mean so much to me. I, I love you,” he whispered, tears dripping from his eyes to stain the sheets as he squeezed her hand yet again. His eyes shot open as he felt a faint squeeze back from her. “Maka! Are you awake?” he asked, but then the door slammed open, cutting him off.  
“Stay away from my daughter you prick,” Spirit yelled, face red. Soul’s eyes narrowed in a glare as he faced the Death Scythe who was wobbling slightly from alcohol consumption.  
“Make me,” he snarled out in a challenge.   
“I don’t see how you can sit beside her and pretend to care when you were the one who caused her to be like this!” he yelled, grabbing his collar to attempt to pull him away from Maka’s side.   
“Get your hands off me you asshole!” he screamed, breaking the Death Scythe’s grip and pushing him away from the bed. “You know what old man? I’m not the only one to blame for this! You were the one who fucked her up with your cheating ways! You made her not be able to trust people, so no wonder she has so many issues and couldn’t go to anyone when she was hurting! This is mostly your fault!” he growled, knocking him over.   
Spirit was stunned into silence from Soul’s words. “N-no! I refuse to believe what you say!” he gasped out, trying to stand up.   
“I don’t care if you believe or not because it’s true. It was even in her suicide note,” he spat, glaring at Spirit. Before the other could utter another remark, Stein walked in, stepping between the two.   
“Listen both of you. I know that there is bad blood between you, but now is not the time to be bickering. You both need to get your shit together for Maka or you won’t be allowed to visit,” he said seriously, which shut both of the men up. Soul slunk back into the chair, clutching her hand again as Spirit sank back to the floor, unable to force himself to stand.   
“H-how did she try?” Spirit whispered brokenly from the floor.   
“Highly potent blood thinners combined with Vodka before hacking at herself,” Stein stated matter-of-factly, causing both of them to cringe, Soul from the memory of walking in and seeing her in that state and Spirit from the thought of his daughter being so serious about taking her own life that she would go to such extreme measures.   
“What’s going to happen now?” Soul asked as he caressed her hand softly, idly wishing that she would squeeze back again.   
“Well, there are a few options. We could send her away to a mental institution…”  
“No,” Soul cut in, glaring at the professor. How could he even suggest sending her away when she was like this?  
“Soul, this isn’t the time to be a brat,” Spirit seethed. How dare he try to interfere with his daughter’s treatment?  
“Sending her away when she is this fragile will do nothing for her Spirit. I know her better than anyone else. She will just become more upset and try again,” Soul sighed. He wanted to rip his hair out from the stress.   
“Or…” Stein interjected. “She can stay here. She will have to be in the hospital for at least a week after regaining consciousness and when she is released to have constant supervision to make sure that no more attempts are made. And once a week she would have to come see me.”  
“Would that be what’s best for her?” Soul asked, glancing at the doctor. He seemed to muse this over for a few minutes before responding.  
“While it would be ideal to send her to a mental institution for treatment, I do have to agree with you Soul about how that probably would damage her worse. I do think that if you monitor her, since you are so close to her, it will bring about better results than sending her off to a stranger.” Soul just nodded, silently agreeing to the doctor’s orders. He would make sure Maka recovered, he swore on his life.  
“Soul,” Spirit addressed him, finally able to stand. “You better take good care of my Maka, you hear? Make her better.”  
“I will,” he promised, and that was enough reassurance from both men as they left him alone with Maka. “I will help you get better Maka. I swear on my life that I will,” he whispered as he kissed her forehead. Now all that he could do was wait for her to awake. 

A/N: Read and Review my lovelies! Sorry it took so long to update T.T   
Between work, school, and SoMa Week, I had no time for any of my other original stories. I shall try to be better with this now! Anyways, I hope you enjoy (as much as you can given the content). And remember! Negative reviews are to be PMed to me directly! I don’t want others reading hate or any spoilers to happen! Please and thank you!


	3. I Cut Myself Too

Chapter 3: I Cut Myself Too

Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater! Also, this story contains instances of self-harm (as mentioned in the summary). You have been warned. 

A/N: SELF HARM AND ABUSE TALKED ABOUT IN THIS CHAPTER! DO NOT READ IF THIS WILL TRIGGER YOU!!!!

A few hours had passed since the incident with Spirit and Soul was starting to grow restless. He just wanted Maka to wake up; he wanted to make sure she was okay. He loved her, damnit; he wanted to make up for the lost time and make sure to take care of her properly.   
“Please wake up Maka,” he whispered, holding her hand tightly and squeezing it affectionately. He laid his head against hers and closed his eyes, trying to relax and taking a small pleasure in the even breathing coming from her; a sign that she was still alive and that he hadn’t completely failed her. He heard a faint groan come from her and he sat up, looking at her with hope in his features. Was she finally going to wake for him? Her eyes cracked open slowly and he couldn’t help the grin that broke out across his face.   
“Soul? Why is it so bright?” she groaned out, voice raspy as her head lulled to the side to look at him.   
“We’re in the hospital Maka,” he said carefully. He didn’t know what he should and shouldn’t say to her. He didn’t want to trigger her to go off again, he knew that all too well from experience. Her gaze darkened and she looked down, disgust on her features. “Maka?” he asked cautiously, placing his hand on her arm.  
“Don’t touch me,” she spat, knocking his hand off of her. “You don’t have to sit here, pretending to be sorry for me when you don’t care. I’m just a piece of shit that doesn’t deserve to live,” she growled.  
“I’m not pretending Maka!” he said through clenched teeth, trying to keep his composure. He didn’t want to yell at her, that wouldn’t help her at all.   
“Yeah you are,” she chuckled darkly and humorlessly. “When have you ever cared about me?”  
“Damnit Maka!” he spoke in a raised voice, grasping her wrist. “From the beginning, the very beginning. I almost gave my life to protect you because you mean the world to me. I love you damnit!” he yelled, his anger getting the best of him.  
“Love me?” she asked in disbelief. “Then why did you make fun of me all those years?” She was nearly in tears now, his confession too much for her to take in right now. She just had tried to kill herself and now here he was, confessing his love to her. This had to be a dream, didn’t it? There was no way that this was for real.  
“Yes Maka, I love you,” he admitted with an embarrassed smile. “I was stupid, so fucking stupid. I didn’t want to think I was falling for you. I was confused on my emotions; I thought it was just stupid hormonal lust and I didn’t want to fuck our partnership up by that, so I said those things to try and cover my feelings for you. But as we grew closer as partners, I started realizing that my feelings were not just hormonal ridden. The turning point for me was when I threw myself in front of you to protect you from Crona. Yes, at first I tried to tell myself it was just because a weapon is supposed to lay down his life for his meister, but I knew that wasn’t just it. The thought of you not being here anymore terrified me so I had to do something.” His grip on her hand tightened as he tried to fight back tears. “W-when I felt our resonance link disappear and I came in and saw you broken and bleeding on your bed, I was so terrified. I thought I lost you for good,” he cried. She was speechless. He actually had felt the same way about her.   
“I-I’m sorry Soul,” she cried, holding onto him. “I’m sorry I scared you. I-I just felt like nothing was going to get better. I felt like it was the only thing I could do to get rid of the pain,” she sobbed, shaking as he held her.   
“Shh it’s okay Maka, I understand,” he reassured her as he soothingly rubbed her back. “Things may suck and hurt right now, but it will get better, believe me,” he whispered.   
She looked up at him with teary eyes. “H-how do you know?” she sniffed. He gulped, should he tell her? The only person he every told anything about his past was Black*Star, and that was just barely. But as he looked at her teary green eyes, he knew that he had to tell her.   
“Before I came to Shibusen, my life at home was hell. My father was an abusive asshole. If I didn’t get the grades he wanted me to get, it was a beating. If I didn’t play the piano just right, it was a beating. Everything from him was a beating. My mother tried to protect Wes and me one time; that is something I will never be able to get out of my head. Seeing her battered and bruised as she was screaming at him to stop and leave us alone shook me to my core. It still does to this day. I holed myself up in my room for days at a time, blaring music to ignore the fighting that was happening in the house. I needed an escape from it all. I ended up finding it in the form of pain,” he shrugged his jacket off and showed her his arms, the scars lining his flesh. “At first, it was shallow. Just enough to draw a little blood and cause a sting. But as things got worse, so did the cuts,” he pointed at a particularly deep one on his arm. “This was from the day my father beat my mother to the point she was hospitalized. I felt so hopeless, so I took the blade deeper until I almost passed out from blood loss. Wes was the one who found me; I had never seen him so shaken up before. He took me to the hospital, much to my chagrin. The doctors there got me all bandaged up and, after much pleading to not tell my father—thank god my family was influential, I agreed to go to therapy for the depression that I was suffering from. Just barely was able to get out of being admitted to the psychiatric ward; I had to agree to go to counseling at least once a week. Things didn’t get better at home, however. The beatings increased but I couldn’t bring myself to tell the police about the abuse. Wes and I, we were scared of what would happen. Luckily, father got what he had coming to him when mom finally left. The only down side was that that left me and Wes to his mercy. He began drinking more than he had before, which was a small miracle because he tended to pass out from it. It was the year Wes was getting ready to leave for college that my weapon powers became active. Finding out that I was a weapon was the best thing to ever happen to me,” he said with a smile. “It gave me an opportunity to escape from the hell that was home. I had a new start and every day I am thankful for it. Meeting you was the second best thing to happen to me. You give me hope to keep going on,” he whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead.   
“I-I never knew Soul,” she whispered, tears streaming down her face from his past. She threw her arms around him, pulling him close as she sobbed. He rubbed her back soothingly.  
“I never have told anyone what happened. It’s okay Maka,” he whispered, trying to calm her. “The only one who knows some small parts of my past is Black*Star, and that was only because he saw my arms when we played basketball. I tried to hide that dark past from everyone since it is my burden to deal with.”  
“Idiot, you know that I am here with you for everything,” she whispered, swatting him lightly on the arm.   
“I know you are,” he smiled at her. “I promise I will be here to help you through this. I am going to be by your side through everything,” he said seriously, grasping her hand.   
“Thank you Soul,” she whispered, lying her head on him. “And I will help you with everything you need. We shall be honest with one another about this stuff from now on.” He nodded in agreement and leaned in to kiss her forehead.   
“I’m so glad you’re okay Maka,” he smiled. “This will be a hard journey, I know, but we will get through this, together,” he assured her. She smiled and started to fall into a sound sleep, Soul caressing her face and thanking every deity above that she was okay. 

A/N: Read and Review Lovelies! Remember, negative feedback is to be PMed to me directly!  
Sorry that this took so long to update, but the ball will get rolling again on this!   
Also since I have had some PMs regarding to this, I figure I should get this out. Some people have been worried that I am currently struggling with a situation like this. That is not the case, however, I am basing this story off of past experiences I have dealt with. So, no need to worry, I am fine!


	4. The Last Night

Chapter 4: The Last Night

Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater! Also, this story contains instances of self-harm (as mentioned in the summary). You have been warned.

The next day was a happy one for the couple; Maka was finally being released from the hospital. Soul couldn’t keep a grin from his face as Stein came in to do the paperwork for her release. He couldn’t help it really, he got to take his woman home. Things were going to be different for them now.   
“Well, that looks like it’s the last of the paperwork,” Stein spoke in his monotone voice, taking a drag from his cigarette as he cranked the screw in his head until it clicked just right. “Just remember that you have an appointment on Friday with the psychiatrist. Otherwise, you’re free to go now. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call me.”  
“I will keep that in mind. Thank you for everything Stein,” she smiled, tears in her eyes as she gave the older man a hug.   
“Yes Stein, thank you so much,” Soul said sincerely. He could never thank him enough for saving the love of his life. They walked out of the hospital hand in hand. A small part of him hoped that their friends had gone to their apartment while Maka was hospitalized and cleaned up the gore from the attempt. There was no way he could let Maka see that; it could cause her to relapse and he wouldn’t want that. He was pulled out of his thoughts by a firm squeeze to the hand, and he looked over at her.  
“Your wavelength is going crazy,” she murmured, glancing at him. “Whatever it is making you worry, it will be okay, alright?” she reassured him, and he couldn’t help but to smile. Even after everything that had happened, she was looking out for him. Typical Maka, he couldn’t help but to love her even more.   
“I know, thanks Maka,” he smiled, kissing her temple. “I was just hoping that one of the gang went over and cleaned up the apartment, it wasn’t in the best shape when I left it,” he admitted carefully, watching for any signs of distress from her.   
“I just hope Kid didn’t clean it, I’ll never be able to find anything,” she said dryly with a smirk. He let out a sigh of relief; thank Shinigami that she didn’t get upset. They walked in silence for a while until she spoke up again. “Soul?”  
“Yeah Maka?” he asked, looking over at her.   
“Thank you so much,” she whispered. “And I know you’re worried about me, but if I feel like I’m getting bad again, I’ll let you know. So you can relax, I prefer you relaxed much better,” she smiled lightly.   
“You’re welcome Maka. And sorry I’m being paranoid. I just love you and want to keep you safe and happy,” he chuckled nervously. He should have known she would notice his worry in their wavelength.   
“I love you too, and I understand. Thank you again,” she smiled, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. His face turned bright red and he coughed lightly to try and cover up his embarrassment. They made it to the apartment and he was nervous. This was the first time they had been home together since she was hospitalized and he hoped that he would be able to keep her safe from now on. With a reassuring squeeze from Maka, he opened the door.   
“Welcome Home Maka!” the gang yelled as the two walked into their apartment. There was a cake on the table and a banner that had no words on it, only a picture of a giraffe. Soul laughed, knowing that they shouldn’t have left Patty to that job.   
“It’s good to be back,” she whispered, tears in her eyes. Tsubaki ran to her, enveloping her in a bone-crushing hug as tears fell down her face.   
“Don’t scare us like that again. Don’t scare us like that again. Don’t scare us like that again,” she sobbed, pulling the blonde closer. Maka’s arms wrapped around her as tears fell down her face, whispering apologies to her and everyone for scaring them like that. As soon as Soul was able to pry the dark arm from his Meister, she was pulled into another hug, this time from Black*Star.   
“Your God missed you Maka,” he murmured, trying to play it cool but failing as tears gathered in his eyes as well.  
“I missed you too Black*Star,” she hugged back, surprised that for once he wasn’t trying to be the center of attention. Next, Liz and Patty hugged her at the same time, talking about how they couldn’t wait to have a girl’s day with her and how Mr. Giraffe had missed Maka. All she could do was laugh; the sisters had their own way of showing affection, but she knew that they had really missed her and was glad she was back.   
“I’m glad you’re okay Maka,” Kid said with a cough, giving her a short but warm hug. “While you were gone, I took the liberty of cleaning your apartment and making it completely symmetrical!” he exclaimed, proud of himself.   
“Gee thanks Kid,” she muttered dryly. She couldn’t really be mad with him though, it was his way of coping with stressful situations. “Anyways, thanks to you all for caring so much about me,” she sniffled, leaning into Soul.   
“Of course we care about you! You’re awesome and we love you!” Patty yelled and everyone smiled and agreed with her.   
“We would all be lost without you Maka. You’re a wonderful friend. Besides, who else would keep Soul here in line without you?” Liz teased and Soul just rolled his eyes as he grinned, hugging Maka close to him.   
“We’re just so happy that you’re okay,” Tsubaki sniffed, finally able to calm herself down as Black*Star held her.   
“Me too,” she smiled. “Now… can I have some of that cake? The hospital food is terrible,” she joked and they all laughed before digging into the homecoming cake, enjoying their time together. 

“Thanks for coming guys,” Soul grinned as he finished cleaning up the mess that they had all made. Maka had soon been worn out from all the excitement and she was asleep on the couch while the others continued eating and joking around. It was not long after Maka passed out that they decided that they should probably get going so she could have some more time to relax and rest.   
“Anytime Soul. You both mean a lot to us, so we wanted to let you both know we are here for you,” Kid said. “We also want her to know that we are sorry for unintentionally adding to the stress she was suffering from. We know we can’t take it back, but we will make sure to not let it happen again.”  
“I will let her know, thank you so much,” Soul whispered, mind already trying to form a way to tell that to Maka without upsetting her.   
“Not a problem bro. If you need anything, hit up me and Tsubaki. Your God needs to take care of his subordinates!” Black*Star bellowed and Soul just rolled his eyes. He was glad that everyone cared so much.   
“We will see you guys around. Shinigami-sama has excused you both from classes for the next month,” Tsubaki smiled, before leaving with Black*Star. Kid, Liz, and Patty followed shortly after, waving goodbye and giving Maka their best regards. Soul waved back before closing and locking the door, breathing out a sigh of relief. While he loved their friends, gatherings were still not his forte; they exhausted him to no end. He smiled at the sleeping Maka and gently scooped her up into his arms. He was about to carry her to her bedroom when she woke up, blinking blearily.   
“Soul?” she asked sleepily, rubbing her eye awake.   
“Hey,” he whispered affectionately. “The gang just left. Just taking you to your room,” he smiled at her. “It’s been a long day,” he yawned.   
“C-could I join you? I don’t want to be alone,” she admitted sheepishly and he stopped momentarily.   
“Sure,” he smiled, stopping at his room instead of hers, trying to calm his racing heart.   
“Thank you,” she whispered shyly, kissing his cheek as he placed her on his bed before walking to his dresser to grab some pajamas to change into.   
“Not a problem at all Maka,” he murmured affectionately as he went to the bathroom to change. When he came out, he saw Maka curled up in a ball in the middle of his bed, and he couldn’t help the blush that crossed his cheeks. She was just so adorable and he really liked the thought of her being in his bed with him. He joined her, pulling her into his arms which startled her.  
“W-what?” she squeaked, face turning bright red.   
“I want you close to me. I missed you. I was so scared I lost you. I want to make up for lost time now,” he whispered, kissing her forehead and holding her closer. When he looked into her eyes, he tensed a bit as he saw tears forming in them.   
“I’m sorry Soul. I’m sorry I scared you. I-I didn’t know what to do,” she sobbed, clutching him to her. He rubbed soothing circles on her back, trying to calm her and feeling like shit for upsetting her.   
“Sorry Maka, I didn’t mean to upset you,” he murmured as he pressed kisses all over her face.   
“Y-you didn’t,” she hiccupped. “I’ve been feeling like this since I woke up from my nap. It was all I could think of as I dreamed. I thought of how terrible you felt when you found me. I dreamt that I actually did it and….and that you couldn’t handle it. That you tried to kill yourself too. I don’t want that to happen,” she cried harder now, and he held her closer to him.   
“Shh Maka it’s okay. You’re okay, I’m okay. We’re both here. No one is gone. You’re safe,” he murmured, wiping her tears from her face as he kissed her forehead and cheeks over and over again. He had to let her know that it was all okay.   
“I hate this Soul. I hate that I feel like I’m nothing. I hate that I am lying here and, instead of focusing on being with you, all I can think of is how I want to run a blade over my wrists, feeling the sting to know I am alive and to take the pain away. I hate that I want that. I fucking hate it!” she rasped out, sobs shaking her body.  
“I know Maka. I know. It sucks. But you are going to be fine, okay? I am going to take care of you and I’m going to be here when you need me. You won’t have to turn to the blade anymore. These scars on your wrists, they will heal and only be scars of a tough time you had. But they will not define who you are. You are strong Maka; I know you are. I’ve seen it day in and day out. We will be strong together and get through this,” he promised, continuing to kiss her and rub her back soothingly. He hoped his words helped some and didn’t upset her further. He assumed that his words helped because her sobs turned to sniffles and her body stopped shaking as she relaxed into his embrace.  
“T-thank you Soul,” she whispered, squeezing him tight. “Thank you so much. I don’t know what I would do without you. You are wonderful,” she smiled at him before leaning in and kissing him lightly on the lips, causing them to both blush. “I couldn’t have asked for a better person to be my partner and to fall in love with. I know that I won’t be alone through this anymore,” she sighed, snuggling close to him as he eyes drooped from exhaustion of crying and the events of the day.  
“You won’t ever be alone Maka. Not now. Not ever. I will always be here for you; I promise you my Angel,” he whispered, pulling her as close as humanly possible as he caressed her face lovingly. “Tonight may not be the last night you have a low, but I will try to make it that this is the last night you feel like you want to hurt yourself,” he promised to both her and himself as she fell asleep in his arms. He fell asleep with her, glad to have her in his arms; he hoped that it would always be like this from now on. In two days she had her first psychiatrist appointment. Until then, he would play psychiatrist for her; never again would he let her fight her demons alone. 

A/N: Read and Review My Lovelies! I hope you enjoy. This is not my best work, but I promised a friend I would update, so Ta-Da! Next chapter- The Psychiatrist Appointment. Sorry in advance for medical jargon in that chapter. Anyways, enjoy loves!


	5. Your Betrayal

Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater! Also, this story contains instances of self-harm (as mentioned in the summary). You have been warned.

WARNING: This chapter contains self-harm and self-berating. DO NOT READ IF THIS WILL TRIGGER YOU PLEASE!!! 

Maka awoke the next day in a haze, mind clouded with dangerous thoughts that she couldn’t shake. She tried to move only to find herself trapped. She looked over her shoulder and was met with the sight of a sleeping Soul, who was drooling all over his pillow. A small smile crossed her features; she was happy that he had stayed with her through the night. Her happiness quickly dissipated, however, as the thoughts started swirling once again.  
‘He only stayed with you because you are his meister. He feels nothing more for you. He is telling you that he loves you to make you happy. In the end, you are the fool to think he loves someone as fucked up as you.’   
She gritted her teeth, trying to block the voice out as she snaked out of his embrace, padding to her room to grab a change of clothes before heading to the bathroom to shower. She locked the door for privacy and started stripping down as the water warmed. As she caught glances of her reflection in the mirror, the voice started up once again, trying to break her.   
‘Why would he want to be with you? You’re hideous. Plain, boring, flat-chested. You have seen the way he lusts over Blair. What even makes you think you come close to meeting his standards? And those scars…’  
Her hand unconsciously rose to her neck where the most recent scar was; the one that was her attempt at taking her life. She inspected it closer as the voice began taunting her again.  
‘You look mangled. Those scars only add to your lack of appeal. He’s gonna see them and feel sick at how stupid you have been. Each one will be a reminder of the many reasons he will never want you.’  
Tears started gathering at this point. The voice was right, there was no way that Soul could ever want someone so broken and beaten as her. She loathed herself for existing and the marks were only reminders that she hadn’t succeeded in getting out yet. She stepped into the warmth of the shower, yet it did nothing to warm her as she shivered and shook. She sat down in the middle of the tub and turned the water up higher, letting the scalding heat beat upon her back. She, however, couldn’t feel a thing. She felt numb from her stupidity and conflicting emotions. She shouldn’t have fooled herself into thinking that Soul truly loved her and wanted to be with her. Men only wanted women for one thing, that much she had learned from her Papa throughout the years.   
‘You think Soul would want to have sex with you? Look at yourself. Look at all of those scars and marks that mar your body. You’re ugly; he would take one look at your naked self and laugh hysterically.’  
The tears were falling now, washed away by the water as she stared at her scar-riddled legs. Who would ever want her, especially when she looked like this? She was a monster, a hideous disgusting monster. She pulled her legs to her chest and buried her face in her knees, sobbing as the voice refused to relent.   
‘I know you are eyeing your razor over there. Take it dear. Let it all out. You’re already scarred, not like new ones will be noticed. Take it across your flesh. Make it sting. Make everything better.’  
She squeezed her eyes shut and fisted her hair as she bit her lip, trying to resist the urge. She couldn’t give in. She had to be strong.   
‘You are not strong. You’re weak. Do it. No one will know. It will be our little secret. Grab it and do it.’  
Her eyes slowly opened, resolve crumbling as she shakily reached out and grabbed the razor from the shelf. Her nimble fingers broke the cheap plastic casing of the new razor as she plucked one of the blades out, it held securely between her fingers. She stared at it, feeling her body start to tense as it readied itself for the pain to come.   
‘Go on. You have gotten this far. No use in turning back now.’  
Will gone, she grasped the blade tighter and brought it to the base of her wrist, piercing the skin and dragging it up to the crook of her arm. A hiss escaped her lips as the endorphins rushed through her, trying to mask the pain. She knew that she shouldn’t be doing this, but it felt so good. She repeated the action, bringing the blade up the length of her forearm multiple times until the water around her turned red. She didn’t stop at her arms though; she started cutting up her thighs, marks going the opposite way from her scars. The tub was red by the time she snapped out of the trance that she had been in. As she looked down at herself and saw the marks and the blood she gasped in shock, dropping the blade and beginning to go into hysterics. She splashed water around, trying to clean the blood up as the tears increased.   
‘Hush your tears. It was meant to happen. Keep your blade, you’ll need it.’  
She shakily stood, reaching her hand out the curtain and placing the blade on the countertop before rinsing herself off. She felt terrible, sick to her stomach even. She broke the promise she made to herself, to her friends. She wiped away the stray tears as she turned the water off and grabbed her towels. She had to try and steel herself now, pretend that nothing happened so she wouldn’t worry Soul. She dried herself off, wincing as the rough terry cloth rubbed against the fresh wounds. When she felt she was dry enough, she slipped her shorts and tank top on, becoming conscious of the skin that was showing since it displayed her new wounds. Slipping the blade in her pocket and grabbing the towels in a wad, she unlocked the door, determined to sneak back into her room and change into something that would cover her handiwork better until it scared over. She swung the door open and started to walk forward before freezing in her tracks. There stood Soul, panicked expression on his face.  
“Maka,” he breathed, taking in the sight of the blood stained towels and the wounds that were fresh and oozing out blood. She wondered how long he had been standing out there and she groaned as his hands reached towards her, one grasping her wrist gently to survey the damage and the other with his palm outstretched, asking her to hand over the culprit. Sighing as she realized that their wavelength must have given her away, she fumbled in her pocket for the blade, placing it in his hand as she bowed her head in shame. Man, was she fucked now. 

A/N: Read and Review Lovelies! I know I had said that this chapter was going to be the psychiatrist appointment, but due to some recent events and my mental state taking a turn for the worse, I changed up the plot slightly. Next chapter for sure will be the appointment. I just needed this to get the negative emotions out. So, leave a review and remember that the negative ones are to be PMed to me directly. Thanks!


	6. The Only One

Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater! Also, this story contains instances of self-harm (as mentioned in the summary). You have been warned.

Tears started forming in her eyes as his scrutinizing gaze was focused on her wrist. He sighed and grabbed the first aid kit from the cupboard before leading her to her bedroom. She sat on her bed, avoiding his stare as he pulled out a disinfectant and started cleaning and flushing out the wounds on her forearms. She hissed in pain, the sting throwing her back into reality. She couldn’t believe that she had done that. She was so stupid. What made matters worse was Soul was not saying anything as he meticulously began bandaging her wrists before moving onto her legs. Why? Why wasn’t he saying anything to her? Was he disgusted with her now? She knew she was disgusted with herself; she hated herself now because of this.   
‘I guess this means the end of us,’ she though bitterly. A fresh wave of tears spring forward at this thought. She didn’t want it to be over, but she knew that it was her fault that they were. Hopelessness and sadness crashed over her as he finished bandaging her legs. As soon as his hands left them, she pulled her knees up to her chest, burying her face in them as she sobbed. Stupid, so stupid. She felt her bed sink with the weight of another body joining her on the mattress. A soft sigh was heard before arms wrapped around her shaking shoulders, pulling her into his broad chest as he rubbed her back soothingly. She gasped lightly, before the tears started again. Him comforting her only made this worse. She knew he was going to leave, so him holding her close like this only served to deepen the wound.   
“Why?” he murmured softly into her hair.  
“W-what?” she asked, pulling away from his embrace, confusion etched onto her features.   
“Why did you run Maka?” he asked, wiping a tear from her eye gently as he gazed into her eyes. Confusion was seen in his crimson orbs, as was hurt.   
“What do you mean? I didn’t run from anything,” she whispered, trying to understand what he was getting at.   
“Yes you did. You were hurting and ran to the blade instead of coming to me,” he countered, voice wavering slightly. She was dumbfounded; he wasn’t upset that she hurt herself, he was upset that she didn’t come to him for help. Her mouth opened and closed rapidly, but no sound came out.   
“I told you I am always here for you Maka. So why did you run?” he asked, voice cracking as tears betrayed him, streaking down his face. Her heart broke from seeing his emotions so on display for her to see.   
“I-I was afraid that you only stayed here because I’m your meister. T-that when I was better, you were going to realize how stupid and disgusting I was and leave me. T-that you didn’t love me,” she sobbed, pulling her knees closer to her as her body shook uncontrollably. She felt so vulnerable, her thoughts and fears on display for him. She heard him breathe out her name before he enveloped her in his warm embrace once again.   
“Maka, I love you and nothing will change that. We all do things that we regret, but it will never change my feelings towards you,” he promised, lips tickling her ear as he whispered into it.   
“Really Soul?” she asked, pulling away to look at his face, tears blurring her vision. “You aren’t lying?”  
“Why would I lie to the woman I love? You are everything to me Maka. You mean more to me than you will ever know.” He wiped away her tears and smiled softly at her.   
“Why though? Why could you possibly love me?” She couldn’t understand it. She wasn’t gorgeous—not in the least. She didn’t know what he saw in her; she was always violent towards him and easily jealous.   
“Maka, look at me,” he commanded in a whisper and she couldn’t refuse, red meeting green. “You are gorgeous. I know you don’t see it, but I will spend the rest of my life showing you,” he smiled as he tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “You are so smart, loving, caring, and passionate. Those are all things I love about you. Just being you is what made me fall in love with you,” he whispered, leaning close to her, trapping her with his gaze.   
“S-Soul,” she whispered breathlessly as his eyes bored into hers.  
“There’s something I’ve wanted to try,” he murmured, eyes trained on her lips. While they had kissed before, it was just a simple peck of thankfulness from her. He wanted to give her a real kiss, one that would convey to her his true feelings.  
“G-go ahead,” she stuttered out, licking her lips in anticipation as her throat went dry. She didn’t know why she was so nervous, but the look in his eyes made butterflied flutter in her stomach.   
“I love you Maka,” he breathed, cupping her cheek with a shaky hand as he closed the distance, his lips meeting hers tenderly. Her eyes widened slightly before closing in bliss, her hands resting gingerly on his lap. It was slightly awkward; their noses bumping together and teeth clashing lightly as their lips worked against one another’s.   
“I-I love you too, Soul,” she panted as they separated, trying to catch their breath. Her heart was pounding; so THAT was what it was like to kiss Soul. Her chest was heaving, skin flushed as she shyly rose her eyes to meet his again.   
He was grinning sheepishly, eyes shining in happiness and amazement. Never had any of his fantasies about kissing the young woman prepared him for the sensations that it would invoke in him. He craved her lips against his once again, craved to hear her breathy moans as he held her. “That was amazing,” he whispered, grasping her hand in his lovingly.   
“Y-yeah it was,” she agreed with a slight blush, eyes dipping down to stare at their entwined hands. She was flustered yet happy as could be. She could feel her own personal demon try to surface and fill her with doubts, but with Soul beside her, she was able to easily squash it down, for now.   
“Maka,” he whispered, his grip on her hand tightening slightly, which caused her to redirect her gaze to his. “I love you, please remember that. No matter what you are going through, please, come to me. I want to help you and make things better for you.” His eyes held such an intense love for her that she was rendered speechless; all she could manage to do was nod her head weakly to confirm that she heard his words and agreed with them.   
“W-what does this make us now?” she choked out as soon as she was able to find her voice. He cocked his head to the side slightly, trying to process her words before a wide grin crossed his face.   
“Well,” he started, his free hand cupping her cheek once again after brushing her wet hair away from it. “I believe this means that we have moved from being strictly meister and weapon to being boyfriend and girlfriend, which is way cooler if you ask me,” he grinned, leaning in to press a soft kiss to her eager lips once again.   
“I-I think I like that, a lot,” she whispered as he moved his lips from hers.   
“Me too,” he laughed, pulling her into his arms for what seemed like the millionth time that afternoon. As her head rested against his chest, her ears taking in the soothing sound of his heartbeat, she knew that her fears had all been for naught. Soul was going to be there for her and love her, regardless of what she may ever do. She had him at her side and she was slowly starting to realize that she would not have to be the only one to deal with her demons. 

A/N: Read and Review lovelies! Sorry for the delay in the chapter update ^^; I hadn’t been much in a writing mood as of late, but finally the writing bug hit and I was able to spin this up for you all! I hope you enjoy!!


	7. Author's Note

Author’s Note   
Posting to active stories.  
I am on hiatus right now.   
School is too much. Life is too much. And I have no motivation or energy to write.   
I’m not sure when I will be back.   
Sorry to disappoint anyone.   
-KittyKatz009


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